Is it possible for us to understand troubled teens? We know that as adults we find it helpful to talk about our problems and emotions. This is because most of us have learned to talk about our feelings no matter how complex they might be. We are also more accepting of the grey areas of life due to our wider range of experiences.

For many troubled teens, this process is not quite as easy. This is because young people may find it harder to put their feelings into words and because they are dealing with many seemingly contradictory and overwhelming feelings at a time when their emotional and physical development are undergoing some powerful changes.

Unlike adults, the lives of a teenager are most often linked to those of their parents so they might find it harder to communicate conflicts with family members or parents. To understand troubled teens therefore requires different techniques to those we employ to help adults with their problems.

Troubled teens need a specialist approach from a counselor or therapist – this should reflect the life experiences of the teen. So talk therapy may not be the most effective form of therapy for a troubled teenager. In general; more active forms of therapy may work better. This approach would include experiential therapy, play therapy, and art therapy for example.

Some therapists use equine-assisted therapy to counsel teens. This is where troubled teens interact with horses as part of a therapeutic intervention allowing the therapist to observe how the child interacts with the animal and draw important conclusions from that behavior. It is believed that the way in which a teen interacts with the horse provides valuable clues to their relationship with their parents or peers.

Family therapy is often used to help troubled teens who have behavioral or emotional issues. Here a therapist will try to help make communication between family members and the teen work more efficiently and in so doing help both parties to learn techniques for conflict resolution.

Counseling troubled teens is centered on helping both the child and the parents to better understand some of the ways in which the teen behaves. It teaches a teen to express their needs and wants in a more positive, constructive way. When these issues are better understood and new behaviors implemented the family relationship as a whole improves as does the well-being of troubled teens.

So how do you know that your teenager has a real problem and isn’t just going through a ‘phase’? Parents might find it very difficult to recognize problem behavior in their teen. How do you know if your teen is at risk for drug/alcohol abuse, quitting school, an unplanned pregnancy, violence, depression, or even suicide? Unfortunately troubled teens aren’t always very easy to spot.

Parents may fall into the trap of comparing their troubled teens to other teenagers that they have contact with. Which means they either find their teen ‘worse’ than other teens; or ‘not as bad’ as other children they know – both of which might lead to disastrous consequences?

Of course it’s easy to understand this kind of comparison when a parent is trying to determine how much of a problem there really is. However making a comparison with other children of the same age is not a reliable indicator of how serious your troubled teens problems are. Instead, parents should look at each child individually and try to assess the situation themselves, using their knowledge of the child’s normal behavior and personality.

It is important for parents to use their intuition when dealing with troubled teens because this is often quite correct in assessing the situation. Parents are also encouraged to enlist the help of counselors and support groups to help them through the process. In general, parents are the first to know if their teen is in trouble. The trick is getting them to admit it!

Unfortunately many troubled teens are not always honest about their real feelings. They often resort to manipulating the situation, becoming secretive or worming their way out of an issue. If parents bury their heads in the sand their teen may use that to make the parent feel that there aren’t any problems.

Once a parent starts to deny the clear evidence of a problem he or she may start to ignore the problem or explain it away in their own minds. This can be dangerous for troubled teens that may need intervention – even life-saving intervention.

The signs that your teen is in crisis are not hard to spot once you know (and accept) what they are. In general troubled teens will show one or more of the following behaviors and/or symptoms:

* Being secretive in a way which is more than just the average need for privacy.

* Sudden outbursts of anger on a regular basis that seem irrational based on the situation. Troubled teens exhibit more than the normal amount of anger and resentment.

* If your troubled teens miss curfews, skip engagements or lie about where they have been or who they are with they might be in crisis.

* If your teen suddenly changes his group of friends and doesn’t want you ti meet or talk to his new inner circle their may be a problem. If this coincides with a change in appearance and attitude you should be concerned.

* Your teen steals from you. Troubled teens might need money for drugs or alcohol.

* Your teen has extreme mood swings or is sleeping more than usual.

* Your child’s grades are dropping and he seems to have no interest in his normal activities. Troubled teens may be suffering from depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder or may be drug addicted.

If you see any of these signs in your child, don’t ignore them. Seek help from a trained therapist or support group and learn how to handle the issues at hand. Many troubled teens have allowed problems to escalate to the point where they felt suicide was their only option. Don’t let it happen to you. Talk to your child openly and sincerely about what is going on in his or her life. Don’t talk down to troubled teens – they are the first to spot a condescending attitude. The most important thing is to get a dialogue going with your child.